Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita, I’m talking to you!

Wikipedia

Vote yes on the Union vote next Tuesday. You won’t regret it.

There’s strength in numbers, girls. And sure, Lou Bega loves to brag about how we’re all his girlfriends, but the time has come to seize control of our own destinies.

There need to be some changes made around…


Photo by Josh Sorenson on Unsplash

In Texas next week a truly amazing, Jetsons type of thing is going to start happening.

Linda Lou, I’m going to call this imaginary Texan (cause that sounds pretty Texan, don’t it?) wakes up and instead of having to get out of her bed just says “Alexa, brush my teeth.”


Is it because I’m afraid of being dumped?

Photo by Evan Demicoli on Unsplash

Alright, I’m a serial dumper, that’s what my friends say. And they are all waiting with bated breath — as are some of you! — for me to dump my current boyfriend. I know, I have written some whiny articles about him lately but it’s all in good fun. …


All she wanted was to get waxed, not vaxed!!!!

Photo by Mufid Majnun on Unsplash

German tourist and rabid anti-vaxer Bathilda Batshidcrasee was in Los Angeles for a vacation when she thought she should get waxed before hitting the beach in her new bikini.

“I vent to the Vest Side Vaxing Clinic,” she said. “Und I vanted to get my wagina vaxed. Because, vell, it…


Humerotica

It’s hard to tell sometimes — here’s a guide

“I love these flavor notes. Can I bone you!” Photo by Szabo Viktor on Unsplash

This guy says, “Christine and I have been dating for almost two months now.”

Really? That’s news to me, because as far as I can see we haven’t been on an actual date since, let me see, oh right, since our first fucking date!

It might be helpful to clarify…


Ten thousand views, two reads. There’s something wrong here, James.

I guess this is a statue of James Joyce. Photo by Jacques Bopp on Unsplash

“I don’t understand,” said Joyce. “These people all told me they read my book.”

Yeah, they were lying. It’s impossible to read. You know what I read when I was in college, I read the book explaining Ulysses. I think it was called Ulysses for Dumb Shits or something. So…


New Dyson vacuum cleaner will suck the mobility right out of your sperm

The sexy frau who invented the testicle bath. I guess you just lower his testicles down into that mini vacuum cleaner attachment there.

Finally, contraception has been batted into the men’s court. Women, take a break. You’ve been carrying the contraceptive team these past six decades since the sexual revolution, with your birth control pill, your IUD and your sponge. Throw all that shit out. You don’t need it any more. …


Then takes really long pause after repeating “I Got You,” before adding hyper-ironically, “Babe!”

Wikipedia

Cher was reportedly in tears after hearing the super cynical taunt from Sonny’s widow, California Rep. Mary Bono.

To make matters worse, Mary Bono’s roasting of the 60s superstar Cher continued with a hilarious imitation of Cher’s infamous infomercials from the 90s. Mary stuck her tongue out a few times…


If you want to be a real card in the sack, that is. If you want to be invited back, stick to the cliches.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Was that good for you? That’s what dull women ask after sex. It’s a valid question, and it seems to be what you each want to know, right? But really, sisters we can do better.

In an ideal world, where you two were really in sync, it wouldn’t be interrogative…

Christine Stevens

Funny lady, writer of satire and sex, proud Californian, language doctor and lover of Medium!

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