Member-only story
Are You Suffering from Electile Dysfunction
Cheer up, there may be a cure “at hand”
Many liberal men are reporting that they’ve lost their sex drive since Trump won the election. It’s just been so dispiriting — the last thing anybody wants to do is think about sex.
“I tried to have sex with my partner,” reports a millennial Democrat from Bellingham, Washington, Dale Drueks. “But for the first time in my life, I couldn’t get an erection.”
The first cases of electile dysfunction appeared in blue states, where the depression was most prevalent, but it’s now spread to purple and even red states like Arizona, where the temperature is hot but the men feel cold. And uninspired.
“We’ve never seen this before,” reported Democratic Party Campaign Coordinator Sven Siemone. “Usually our dedicated Democrat male voters keep right on going with good stiff erections right up through the transition to the new administration.”
God knows what’s going to happen to penises after Trump actually takes over in January. They might all just shrivel up and drop off.
Other Factors:
Look, it’s been a tough time for chubbies, let’s face it. There are the horrific wars in Ukraine and Gaza — what man in his right mind is going to get an erection during a…
