Joseph Campbell’s wife went on his laptop to order groceries from Instacart and found his porn star Casting video.
“Joey! Get in here! You’ve been watching porn, you pervert! What is this porn star casting website? Huh?”
Mr. Campbell red-faced, came into his office and tried to explain.
“I was conducting research,” he began, “Porn star casting, that’s actually a perfect example of the hero’s journey.”
She looked at him skeptically.
“You see, dear,” he went on, bravely. “The beginning of a porn casting video follows the first three stages of the hero’s journey, which I’ve identified in most stories…
I had an awesome sex robot. His name was Joel. Then he broke. “I’m breaking up with you, Christine,” he said.
“That’s impossible,” I explained. “I own you. You can’t break up with me.”
But he just ignored me and started packing his things into boxes. I tried to get the company to come and fix him but they said my warranty period had expired. I should have bought the extended warranty! Damn. Man did he cost me.
For instance, I have had to go to therapy every single day for the last two months as my robot prolonged this…
If I wrote like you the boomers or their dads of the supposed “greatest generation”, I imagine it would raise your hackles something fierce. I guess they call that your male fragility. But anyhow, lemme take a stab at it and tell me what you think.
Oh yeah, baby, that guy walking past is pretty damn hot, gives me a real lady boner, but he’s probably an idiot, not like me — I understand Einstein. When you’re younger you think these guys actually matter! But then when you wise up you realize a hot piece of ass is just that.
Isn’t it awful when the Mister Right you just started dating suddenly reveals himself to not have the right stuff? When, for instance, he’s too stubborn to ask for directions and you get totally lost? And you realize for the first time that your boyfriend is in fact very weak, confused and out of his depth? Kind of a Richard II, you know, “the shadow of his sorrow has erased the shadow of his face?” He wasn’t attempting anything quite as grand as Richard, mind you. …
Are you frustrated that you haven’t found the one? Are women not falling head over heels for you? Do women seem held back, and blocked from expressing their complete and utter passion for you?
— blamed your hotness level, and decided maybe you’re not handsome and sexy enough?
— blamed your physique, and decided you’re too thin or too fat? Too short or too tall?
— blamed your bank account and decided you’re not rich enough?
— blamed your lack of a job and decided you’re not employed enough?
— blamed your Hyundai Elantra, one of the cheapest…
I saw another article about super food. This writer eats this super food because he’s a super guy. And he’s really healthy and he will live forever thanks to super food!
Yeah, thanks for ruining my day, dumbass. Once again, I am reminded that I am marooned here on a ship of fools surrounded by a bunch of dumbasses who don’t know shit from Shinola about anything and are willing to believe almost anything that sounds shiny and fun. Like a super food!
You have to understand the life of a cell. Please watch this video and educate yourself. …
Dressing when you are over 50 does not mean losing your personal style. Women should be encouraged to dress in a way that makes them look confident — not gross and horrible. However, for many people over 50, picking out decent clothes is challenging, especially when they’ve lost that youthful appearance. We encourage everyone to embrace their age, and we are against ageism in any shape or form. We are just here to help you, Granny, really.
Here’s what you need to stop wearing. Like right now.
“The waistband sits very high on the waist. The leg holes are small…
Now that the pandemic is ending, the mindfulness meditation classes are starting up again.
I really haven’t missed them, TBH, because I’m like the least mindful person ever. I’m a ditz, klutz, and any other word you can think of that ends in tz. My mindfulness is on the fritz. I keep thinking of eating a blintz. This mindfulness teacher’s a putz. See, instead of being mindful I’ve wasted the first five minutes of this class trying to think of words that end it tz.
I told my new friend Todd61 in the mindfulness room in Clubhouse , “I’m a…
Funny lady, writer of satire and sex, proud Californian, language doctor and lover of Medium!